Author: Marla Gottschalk

Confidence. One very tough customer to master.

If you’ve ever stood tentatively in front of an audience — or felt like an impostor after being praised or promoted — I’d wager those nagging feelings were rooted in your level of confidence.

When you consider confidence in the workplace there are so many platitudes, but few offer honest guidance. How do you truly “believe” in yourself when faced with the career moments that matter most? The situations simply cannot be scaled by rehearsed advice. They cannot be met by memes or empty platitudes.

How do we truly build confidence? Well, I’ve stumbled upon one perspective that may hit a relevant nerve (it stopped me cold).

I don’t often find time for magazines. Yet, when I visit the hair salon, I leave my phone at home and unplug. I thumb through Glamour, Vogue, Allure and they all seem offer their own brand of career advice. One column in particular, shared at Glamour was authored by Mindy Kaling. Granted, she is not a traditional career writer as she’s an actress. However, she has managed to accomplish career-wise what few have in her industry, which I find noteworthy.

Here is her thoughtful (second) response to this question, originally posed by a nervous young girl at a speaking engagement, which she admittedly got all wrong the first time around:

“How did you build your confidence?” Her revised response was direct and unapologetic.It went something like this (I apologize for the choice of words, they were hers and would lose something with an edit).

Work very hard. Know your $hit. Show your $hit. Then feel entitled.

I agree 100% that confidence is rooted in mastery. In experiences. Investing in our core stability. In owning what you bring to the table. Confidence comes from building feelings of self-efficacy. It requires challenge, a fair amount of balanced exploration and failure — mentorship, guidance and exposure.

True confidence includes the notion that we are not entitled to rewards, simply because we desire them. Rewards come with time and hard work.

• Confidence comes from learning from those around you.
• It requires patience and the belief that you can learn something from every person and every scenario.
• It requires adequate feedback and reflection.
• It is the deeper realization that you can handle the problems (and people) that stand before you.
• Confidence is earned.

When you practice your craft — confidence is your entitlement.

So try the following:

• Seek broad experiences and “challenge assignments”.
• Develop a deep knowledge of your industry and its current experts.
• Push yourself. Get up when you fall. Alter your course. Rebound.
• Find a mentor who helps you recognize and invest in your talent.
• Be aware of the competencies you may require ahead of the “disruption curve”.
• Continue to learn.
• Grow.

And then, yes — feel entitled to some measure of success.

Through all this, I suspect that confidence arrives unannounced with little fanfare. It takes hold, then lives in your workplace soul — and cannot be measured by the sum of your individual experiences.

It’s more akin to letting a gorgeous, glistening wave roll over you.

Thanks Mindy.

That clears things up.

What are your thoughts about building confidence? Share them.

Dr. Marla Gottschalk is an Industrial/Organizational Psychologist, advisor and coach. Learn more about Core Stability & The Core Training Intensive here.

Are you facing a tough workplace problem that you just cannot seem to solve?

Frustrated?

Quickly reaching the “burnout” plateau?

You might think that increased perseverance always pays off. But in fact, this doesn’t always do the trick. In many cases, we need to change the game plan to make progress.

Here are 5 strategies that you can utilize to power through tough work-related dilemmas:

• Watch comedy. Getting the current issue off your mind and breaking the “tension cycle” is key. Personally, I’ve found a great sitcom or stand-up routine works quite well. We’ve all heard of the benefits of a good laugh in regard to stress and overall mood. Laughing can offer a refreshing boost to your work life as well.
• Listen to a TED Talk. I find listening to great speakers inspirational. Somehow — when their ideas start to flow, my brain wants to follow suit. (I’ve probably started 10 outlines on various topics applying this method.) Start with the best of TED right here.
• Talk. Discuss the problem with someone you do not work with. In many cases, those not in the midst of our worries, can draw parallels to issues they have already solved in the past — and you can be the lucky beneficiary. (Keep the details to yourself if they are sensitive, but share the gist of the problem.)
• Walk. Last year, I vowed to walk every day.  (For the most part, I’ve kept that promise. Although I’m working on winter options. ) Even a brief stroll around the block, can clear your head and help you change gears. Get out there.
• Rest. Yep. Sleep on it. We require rest to resolve all sorts of issues during REM sleep — and your current problem may end up on the docket. Take advantage of your body’s natural defenses against chaos — and turn in early.

What are your strategies? Share them here.

Dr. Marla Gottschalk is an Industrial/Organizational Psychologist, consultant and coach.

Does your heart pound at the mention of “constructive feedback”? Do you ruminate over the smallest bit of criticism? Are you convinced that you need to become more open to opinions “from the field?

We needn’t debate the power of feedback to enhance both work and career. However, its benefits are not always realized. One obvious reason? We are individuals.

Some of us are naturally more receptive. For others, feedback poses a far greater challenge.

I’ve worked with clients who were completely open to feedback and absorbed the content effortlessly. Others experienced great difficulty processing its content and applying it to their work lives. The differences that exist among us concerning feedback are not often acknowledged or addressed. As such, much of value that we might gain from feedback is left on the table.

We cannot deny that our predisposition toward feedback — what we bring to the equation — is critical.

So, how might we understand differences in how we approach feedback? Researchers have been examining a multifaceted construct, aptly named Feedback Orientation which captures a number of key elements that collectively influence our receptiveness. These elements include, perceived Utility (Our beliefs concerning the usefulness of feedback to help us reach desired goals or outcomes), Accountability (The belief that we should respond to given feedback), Social Awareness (The tendency to utilize feedback to gain a picture of our performance through others, and Feedback Self-Efficacy (An individual’s perceived competence to interpret and respond to feedback appropriately.)

Where we fall on the continuum has broad implications for performance development. Those of us with high feedback orientation, are more likely to seek feedback, perceive its value, process it effectively and find avenues to apply the information to their work. Those lower in feedback orientation, are not as likely to embrace the elements of the feedback cycle.

While Feedback Orientation may be stable in the shorter-term, it can be enhanced longer-term by addressing its components. We can learn how to process and apply feedback more effectively. With this, we might then view the entire process more favorably.

A few things to keep in mind.

As a manager:

• Acknowledge individual differences. Feedback is indeed valuable — however, we do vary in terms of our receptiveness. Get a read from your staff on how they feel about feedback, their past experiences and what they find valuable. Discuss what needs to be communicated and how it is shared.
• Develop a culture of feedback. Employees are more likely to be open to feedback when the environment consistently supports feedback-seeking behavior. But, first and foremost model this. (Seek feedback from your direct reports and act on it.) In return, offer honest feedback accompanied by coaching whenever possible. This should be on-going, frequent and not reserved for formal appraisals. A supportive climate is critical.
• Offer time to process. Everyone deserves the opportunity to think about feedback — whether positive or negative — before they respond to it. We’re more likely to utilize the feedback, if this is built in to the process. Organizations that value continuous learning are ripe to gain the most.
• Facilitate application. Once work-related feedback is delivered, offer help for employees to process and apply it to their work lives. Develop solutions to keep your employee moving forward. Feedback should enhance development — not derail it. Don’t ever “drop the bomb” and retreat.

As a contributor:

• Be mindful of your individual orientation. Pause and examine your overall attitude toward feedback. Do you believe that feedback can help you reach desired outcomes? Many of us under-value feedback for a variety of reasons. As a result, we can’t take full advantage of its merits. Be mindful of your preconceived attitudes toward it. Ask yourself — are you a “doubter” or “supporter” of feedback.
• Monitor your resistance to change. Feedback sets the stage for needed change, including how we work. This can be difficult to process and affect, as we become attached to our patterns of behavior. Attempt to open your mind and realize that change can help your progress. Approaching your work in a new way, can lead to a positive outcomes.
• View it as another tool. Feedback can allow you to assess your “invisible resume” and help gain a read on the impression you leave with others. Although this can be a challenge to process, it can allow you to capture information not picked up through other channels.
• Seek a feedback “mentor”. Formulate a plan to respond to feedback effectively — and seek out help to make this happen. This will help build self-efficacy and the overall feeling that the information is useful. This “translation” step, is often overlooked.
• Overall, strive to give feedback a chance. This does not come naturally to us — as we can perceive feedback as a threat. However, try not to abandon ship. Remind yourself that learning to receive feedback effectively, is a worthy skill that can be honed over time.

Dr. Marla Gottschalk is an Industrial/Organizational Psychologist, consultant and coach.

As time goes on, we can develop perspectives clouded in convention and negative experiences. Things can seem very complicated, when in fact they are not.

If you desire a fresh solution — seek someone with a fresh perspective. In this case, a recent college graduate.

Now on to the larger topic: The need to impart needed career information to college students. As you know, most college students will never pass through the doors of their University’s career center. Many will land in career paths unsuited to them. Even more may end up in a very quick career dead-end.

Why? They didn’t have the required facts to make an informed decision.

So why the hesitation to inform them? (It’s not that.) Colleges and universities want to inform their students and go to great lengths to do so. The glaring problem is securing their attention. So — my recent grad offered a brilliant solution: At the start of each and every semester in survey classes in Psychology, History, Chemistry…etc, tell them.

Yes, simply tell them.

Spend a half an hour addressing career paths, work settings and how they can make that content area work as a career. Share insights concerning the highs and lows. Discuss educational requirements. Don’t wait for that timid Freshman to rally the nerve to speak to the professor after class, about a decision that will affect the rest of their working life.

Inform them. Right alongside the review of the syllabus.

You already have a captive audience. Take advantage of the opportunity.

Makes sense, doesn’t it?

Dr. Marla Gottschalk is an Industrial/Organizational Psychologist, consultant and coach. She holds the role of Senior Consultant at Allied Talent, bringing the principles of The Alliance to organizations worldwide.

I hate it when people “improve” things for no apparent reason.

Especially, things that really do not need improving.

It’s much like looking forward to that perfect blend of coffee at your local shop and it’s been discontinued for something new and “exotic”.

I hate that — don’t you? (I’m sure you have your own list of offenders.)

Change for the sake of change, really isn’t justified. Sometimes elements truly work well. (Maybe you aren’t aware of that, but they do.) So, take a moment to reflect upon that.

Rest a bit and enjoy your success.

It is really alright to be still for just a moment.

Disruption has its costs. It’s the sanity of your users.

If you find you don’t have time for that process, because you are so busy changing things, at least be responsible. Ask customers what works for them. You may be completely surprised at what you might hear.

I know, I’m usually surprised. It’s rarely what you expect.

So, stop showing off.

I already think you are great.

You can stop proving it.

Dr. Marla Gottschalk is an Industrial/Organizational Psychologist, consultant and coach.

If you’ve ever been micro-managed, you fully understand the aggravating confidence-busting results that can occur. Fear of impending failure, decreased motivation and complete disengagement from your work. When your supervisor doesn’t seem to understand the levity of the potential consequences — work life can become quite miserable.

However, if you are that individual doing the managing — and worry that you tend toward micromanaging — there is little advice to actually help “save you” from yourself. In many cases, it may feel that the root of micromanaging begins with the behavior of a struggling employee. However, there is another perspective to consider.

Setting personality characteristics aside — your need to micro-manage could be the result of neglecting a few, very necessary best practices.

So, let’s explore a few ideas to help curb a tendency to micromanage:

• Become mindful of the potential consequences. Pause and consider that you need to support an employee, not badger them. Ultimately, you cannot control every individual action — and if you try do so you — you squelch autonomy, independent thought and growth. However, the worst outcomes are yet to come: the damage you will wreak upon trust and self-confidence.
• Evaluate employee strengths in relation to assignments. If performance seems under par, have a conversation with the employee about the scope of his work in relation to his or her skill set. Sometimes an employee is simply not a fit for the work at hand, and this must be addressed in short shrift. If it becomes evident that this was a selection mistake — take actions to re-assign them.
• Commit to communicating fully. Many performance issues have much to do with unclear performance expectations about the role or how the work should be completed (Organizational style and mores come into play). So, don’t skimp on communicating job-related information during on-boarding and the initial months of employment. Furthermore, review best practices at the start of key assignments. If you invest more time in your employee, there will be far fewer issues to potentially micromanage down the line.
• Discuss feedback mechanisms. Individual differences reign here. While we all must be accountable, what may completely suffocating to one employee “check-in wise”, may be perfectly acceptable to another. Be sure to agree upon the level of day to day supervision, that works for both you and your employee. If possible, consider utilizing technology (Trello and Basecamp, for example) to dampen your desire to look in too frequently.
• Emphasize on-going learning & development. It seems that our work lives become more challenging by the day. As a  result, your staff may require on-going training to stay prepared. If someone’s skills begin to lag behind, it is up to you ensure they have the opportunity to seek the training that they require.

Are you a recovering micro-manager? How did you stop the cycle?

Dr. Marla Gottschalk is an Industrial/Organizational Psychologist, consultant and coach. She holds the role of Senior Consultant at Allied Talent and also serves as the Director of Thought Leadership at Kilberry Leadership Advisors.

I’ve just watched Michigan State University’s basketball team beat Louisville to reach the Final Four, as they continue to follow an unlikely path through the NCAA tournament. If you follow college basketball religiously — or simply get caught up in the excitement as I do — you’ll note that surprise outcomes occur quite regularly.

That’s really why I watch. I always root for the underdog. In this case, it was my Alma Mater.

As it turns out, they didn’t need my help.

A few key elements are usually present in these upsets. In this case, a fantastic combination of youth, talent and exquisitely seasoned coaching. However, there is another secret ingredient that psychologists have been observing, that likely played a role — grit.

Grit can take a solid competitor and transform them into a warrior. (Leaders that can stoke grit likely have the ability to do the same in the workplace.) In this classic research, Angela Duckworth of the University of  Pennsylvania, explored the attitudes and conditions that contributed to achieving valued outcomes. What became evident was that talent is not always enough — perseverance was also required. (See her TED Talk here.)

When I watched the reaction of the players as the final buzzer sounded, it was clear they knew that had done something extraordinary. They had met a Goliath and pulled through, again.

I do realize that Michigan State’s path may end here — as they face Duke in the next match-up. However, this matters little.

With a hefty dose of grit, they’ve already met their true potential on that court.

That is a win in itself.

Dr. Marla Gottschalk is an Industrial/Organizational Psychologist, consultant and coach. She holds the role of Senior Consultant at Allied Talent and also serves as the Director of Thought Leadership at Kilberry Leadership Advisors.

Photo Credit: Maddie Meyer/Getty Images